By GRAEME HOSKEN and Botho Molosankwe Staff Reporters
Embattled former Springbok scrumhalf Joost van der Westhuizen says he lied about appearing in a sex tape and taking drugs because he was scared and confused.
Speaking after it was revealed yesterday that he did have a sexual dalliance and took drugs while his wife, entertainer Amor Vittone, was pregnant, Van der Westhuizen said he had no idea whether his marriage would survive, but that he and Vittone were both committed to trying to heal their relationship.
Meanwhile, SuperSport said it was a "betrayal of trust" that had led to the sport channel firing Van der Westhuizen as a commentator.
The channel said its interests were not well served by having someone on air "who has admitted to being a drug user".
SuperSport spokesman Clinton van den Berg said yesterday that the two parties had "mutually agreed to terminate his contracts" because of Van der Westhuizen's revelations that threatened to bring the channel into disrepute.
"The decision was also about the betrayal of trust and the admission of drug taking. When the news broke, we met and asked him about it and he denied that he was on the video.
"And now, with his admission, that comes (down) to the betrayal of trust. It is also not in SuperSport's interests to have someone on air who has admitted to being a drug user," Van den Berg said.
Van der Westhuizen came clean yesterday, a day ahead of his biography going on sale, about a three-year-old video tape of him taking drugs and cavorting with Marlize van Emmenis. Until yesterday he had strenuously denied any involvement.
He told radio personality Darren Simpson this morning that he had denied the allegations because he had been scared and confused, which had led to an error in judgement.
He said certain people had promised to make the scandal "go away" - and he had trusted them, and lied in support of that belief.
He had finally come clean to his wife in July, saying he would have no right to one day expect his children to be honest and accountable if their father could not.
His wife had not said a word to him for 24 hours after he spilled the beans and had subsequently endured substantial pain as the truth had sunk in, Van der Westhuizen told Simpson.
Van der Westhuizen said yesterday that he understood that SuperSport had to protect its brand. "That is the price I will have to pay for my mistakes."
He added that he had decided on the book, titled Man in the Mirror, because he was tired of lying and was now man enough to apologise to the people he had disappointed.
"I am very disappointed in myself. I have written this book because it's a life lesson. I hope I can help someone else not to make the same mistakes," he added.
Van der Westhuizen's publicist, Bridget van Oerle, said last night that Van der Westhuizen's entire family had been overwhelmed by the support they had received.
"The family, who are Christians and have very strong beliefs, are doing well, supporting each other and just taking one day at a time," she said, declining to say whether Van der Westhuizen and Vittone were seeing a marriage counsellor.
Dismissing again the notion of their getting divorced as an "ugly rumour", Van Oerle said that the couple's two children were also doing well and would continue with their normal daily routine.
In the book, Van der Westhuizen claims cowardice made him deny his role in a secretly taped video of a man in his underwear canoodling and sniffing drugs with a woman.
Until the last chapter, as he told his story to biographer and journalist David Gemmell, he did not admit to being the man who was filmed. "Just over three years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life", but preserving his family was the most important thing in his life now, he said.
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